the year of the cat

I don't know if you all know this, but I've played this place before. And um, but I didn't play it as me. And uh...
[someone in the audience shouts, "Now's your chance!"]
Huh? I know, it is my chance, isn't it? But this is the thing, if it doesn't go well for me tonight, I can't like, say it was my first time. So um, the thing is, in 1991, I think -- Mom, it was in 1991, right? I think it was. And I got a phone call from somebody and he goes, "Tori, my piano player is sick. Will you come to the Festival Hall and like, fill in?" And I said, "Um, well, I do know the song." And so I said, "What's wrong with him?" And he goes, "Well, he's got the Russian flu." And I said, "Definitely, I'll come. Just make sure he doesn't get better." I said, "It's a long train ride for me, so I'm coming in, don't fuck me over." So I show up and Al Stewart said to me, you know, "You know this Year of the Cat song?" I said, "Of course, of course, I'm born the year of the cat, I know all about it." And I said, "There's only one problem -- I can't play as me because um, I um, have a passport problem." And he said, "Do you really think that anybody from Passport Control is concerned about what you're doing tonight?" I said, "Well, maybe, you know, just maybe. I'm playing this big gig at the Mean Fiddler, and I'm opening for seven people and I can't blow that." And so um, he said to me, "Ok, well, you'll be Villainess Tchaikovskaya." And that's who I was